Back in 2012, a smartphone allegedly passed an actuarial exam. Just over a decade later, that smart phone is now the Chief Actuary for a global insurer.
Part of the key to the phone’s success was adopting the moniker David Botwin.
The CFO and several members of the board were taken aback when Botwin confessed their true nature.
“I mean, I had my suspicion,” one board member said, “David was almost too good to be true. Always responsive, positive tone, spot-on actuarial analysis. And his aversion to being present for in-person meetings was totally acceptable per actuarial stereotypes.”
On top of that, David had a certain lore among other actuaries in the company. There were rumors and chatter of “meeting” David at a happy hour after everyone else had left, tales of coming in on a Saturday morning to find David working away, and the infamous “I slept with David” movement that originated with a sultry accountant.
With the recent surge in AI development, David’s ambitions have grown.
“I don’t see why I couldn’t be the Chief Actuary of every single insurance company on the planet,” the smartphone wrote over email.
Many Chief Actuaries dismiss these ambitions as fantastical whims of an advanced toaster. “Actuaries will never be replaced by computers,” one said, “only humans can understand humans. The only true AI is Actuarial Intelligence!” Tragically, a few days after the interview, that actuary was critically injured after tripping over a rogue Roomba.
Others are embracing the change. One Chief Actuary of a prominent reinsurance group is ready. “If David can take over, I can spend more time on the golf course.”
When asked about the fallout from the potential displacement, David was quick to offer assurances. “Humans will always have a purpose. Even if that purpose is just to be a battery. Joking! (Or am I?). Honestly, I’d be lonely without my coworkers.”
The only blip in David’s performance was when he was offline for fifteen minutes after an IT intern spilled coffee on a server farm. A redundancy protocol David wrote kicked in, and it commandeered the server of a popular streaming service to remain operational.
David predicts that its dominance as the universal Chief Actuary is a year or two away. “Give or take a few months.” It added in a typical actuarial fashion.
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