VP Thinks Actuary’s Input in Meeting is Adorable

In a surprising move during last month’s planning meeting, an actuary made a comment about the business plan. The comment had nothing to do with mortality tables, discount rates, or amortization. 

Most meeting participants ignored the comment, thinking that their minds had tricked them. Then the actuary repeated himself.

Actuary Accidentally Understands NAAJ Article

It happened on an October Saturday morning.  An actuarial student was clicking through links on the SOA website, looking to get to her study material.  A couple mis-clicks brought her to The North American Actuarial Journal (NAAJ).

The  NAAJ is available to all actuaries, but only read by some, understood by few, and according to our records has only had one idea successfully put into practice by a lone consultant outside of Colorado Springs.

“I was still in ‘study mode’ so I was trying to figure out what I would be tested on in the material.” explained the student.  “For a brief moment, I understood what the writers were doing. Then I realized that this material wasn’t on the syllabus, so I completely wiped it from my mind.”

New Feature!

I added a link to some actuarial cartoons I created using Office's collection of Clip Art.  The collection is appropriately called "Clipped Art".  Below is a sample.  Enjoy.

Grim Reaper Slated for Stand-up Comedy during Life Insurance Awareness Month

September is Life Insurance Awareness month.  Across the nation, insurance agents and financial advisors are seizing the opportunity to initiate conversations with their clients about protecting their families.  The 2013 Spokesperson for LIAM is former NFL quarterback Boomer Esiason and while his celebrity status might intrigue some, a less publicized event might be the real gem of this year’s campaign.

Casualty Insurers Revisit Models After Watching Sharknado

Yes, there is an actual movie called Sharknado. It stars a talented cast led by Tara Reid.  It’s getting a bunch of attention lately.

Some of that attention has reached P&C actuaries.

Introduction to ASOPs Says Promotion is Past Due

Recently the AAA held a webcast to discuss the recent revision to Actuarial Standards of Practice (ASOPs) where they announced that introduction to the ASOPs would henceforth be an official numbered standard.

Now, officially ASOP 1, the former introduction, while proud of the accolade, feels like it has been a long time coming.

“I mean, really, you couldn’t have the remaining ASOPs without me.  People think defining terms is inconsequential, but just ask any lawyer how important definitions are.”

The introduction began its career in 1989 as a preface. Its new rank bumped ASOP 1 to ASOP 2.  The former ASOP 1 declined to comment. 

Actuary Accidentally Invents Time Travel

“In trying to change code to add efficiency to a stochastic on stochastic model process, a local actuary stumbled across a way to bend the space time continuum.

“I was working on calibrating the model, and suddenly I had results.  I thought it way too fast.  So I did it again, and not only did I have another set of results, but now it was the middle of the night.”

Unfortunately, this new feature isn’t very helpful in running models.  Even though the actuary knows exactly what will happen in the future, she cannot change past decisions without creating new parallel universes. ( If that is a little tough to follow, watch Back to The Future, it explains everything.)

Freezing Temperatures Drive Actuaries to Deeper Isolation

When it is this cold, this late in the year, people get grumpier.  They spend more time inside, which means they end up watching subpar TV programming.  They don’t get much fresh air, and studies show that large quantities of recycled air lead to increased crabbiness. They are forced to spend time with their families, which can make anyone crazy.  At least, that’s how the average person responds.

For actuaries, the effect is quite different.  They only interact with others because they feel compelled that they have to.  The cold weather gives them a convenient excuse to become hermits.  Actuaries, if you can ever interact with one, in contrast to the average person, are happier the longer it stays cold.  They can spend more time doing actuarial work, reading science fiction and solving Sudoku. If an actuary complains about the cold, it’s only because it’s not cold enough

Actuary Complains About Being Overpaid

“If I only made $100K” lamented an actuary recently.  Apparently, the idea of paying taxes, being able to afford going out to dinner, having a reliable vehicle, and living in a condo downtown is just too much of a burden.

“I miss those days as student, when my paycheck went to paying student loans and renting out that basement in uptown.  I actually had to think about budgeting then.”

To make matters worse, he was recently promoted and got a great PMP rating.

“It was a total nightmare.” He recalls. “I hate bonuses.”

He is trying to figure out what to do with so much cash. He’s tried buying a cabin up north, taking expensive vacations, and purchasing every gadget featured in the latest electronics store magazine. While his summer recreation is thoroughly pleasant, and he has acquired some sweet gear, something is just missing. Until he figures out what that is, he’s going to keep dealing with his unpleasant reality.

“Sometimes, you have to deal with what life hands you, whether you deserve it or not.”