Most meeting participants ignored the comment, thinking that
their minds had tricked them. Then the actuary repeated himself.
What happens with actuaries when the lights go out? Between the Spreadsheets exposes the hidden secrets of the actuarial profession through satirical articles and thought provoking pieces. Ideas expressed in this blog are my own. They do not represent any company or organization.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
VP Thinks Actuary’s Input in Meeting is Adorable
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Actuary Accidentally Understands NAAJ Article
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
New Feature!
I added a link to some actuarial cartoons I created using Office's collection of Clip Art. The collection is appropriately called "Clipped Art". Below is a sample. Enjoy.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Grim Reaper Slated for Stand-up Comedy during Life Insurance Awareness Month
September is Life Insurance Awareness month. Across the nation, insurance agents and financial advisors are seizing the opportunity to initiate conversations with their clients about protecting their families. The 2013 Spokesperson for LIAM is former NFL quarterback Boomer Esiason and while his celebrity status might intrigue some, a less publicized event might be the real gem of this year’s campaign.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Casualty Insurers Revisit Models After Watching Sharknado
Yes, there is an actual
movie called Sharknado. It stars a talented cast led by Tara Reid. It’s getting a bunch of attention lately.
Some of that attention
has reached P&C actuaries.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Introduction to ASOPs Says Promotion is Past Due
Recently the AAA held a
webcast to discuss the recent revision to Actuarial Standards of Practice
(ASOPs) where they announced that introduction to the ASOPs would henceforth be
an official numbered standard.
Now, officially ASOP 1,
the former introduction, while proud of the accolade, feels like it has been a
long time coming.
“I mean, really, you
couldn’t have the remaining ASOPs without me.
People think defining terms is inconsequential, but just ask any lawyer
how important definitions are.”
The introduction began
its career in 1989 as a preface. Its new rank bumped ASOP 1 to ASOP 2. The former ASOP 1 declined to comment.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Actuary Accidentally Invents Time Travel
“In trying to change code to add efficiency to a stochastic on stochastic model process, a local actuary stumbled across a way to bend the space time continuum.
Unfortunately, this new feature isn’t very helpful in running models. Even though the actuary knows exactly what will happen in the future, she cannot change past decisions without creating new parallel universes. ( If that is a little tough to follow, watch Back to The Future, it explains everything.)
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Freezing Temperatures Drive Actuaries to Deeper Isolation
When it is this cold, this late in the year, people get grumpier. They spend more time inside, which means they end up watching subpar TV programming. They don’t get much fresh air, and studies show that large quantities of recycled air lead to increased crabbiness. They are forced to spend time with their families, which can make anyone crazy. At least, that’s how the average person responds.
For actuaries, the effect is quite different. They only interact with others because they feel compelled that they have to. The cold weather gives them a convenient excuse to become hermits. Actuaries, if you can ever interact with one, in contrast to the average person, are happier the longer it stays cold. They can spend more time doing actuarial work, reading science fiction and solving Sudoku. If an actuary complains about the cold, it’s only because it’s not cold enough
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Actuary Complains About Being Overpaid
“I miss those days as student, when my paycheck went to paying student loans and renting out that basement in uptown. I actually had to think about budgeting then.”
To make matters worse, he was recently promoted and got a great PMP rating.
“It was a total nightmare.” He recalls. “I hate bonuses.”
He is trying to figure out what to do with so much cash. He’s tried buying a cabin up north, taking expensive vacations, and purchasing every gadget featured in the latest electronics store magazine. While his summer recreation is thoroughly pleasant, and he has acquired some sweet gear, something is just missing. Until he figures out what that is, he’s going to keep dealing with his unpleasant reality.
“Sometimes, you have to deal with what life hands you, whether you deserve it or not.”
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