Friday, April 1, 2022

Actuaryland: A Theme Park Designed By and For Actuaries

Inspired by recent activity on Twitter, a nationally recognized amusement park design firm is entering a concept phase for a new niche attraction. 

The impetus of the idea came out of an exchange on the popularity of Bayesian Statistics - to which one @loveactuary responded "in actuaryland we love em" - to which @EvanSparks chimed in "Actuaryland: the theme park where all the roller coasters have accurate forecast for how long a guest can ride before throwing up." This is now commonly referred to as the Puke Index.

And thus a concept is born.

Like all theme parks, the admission price will likely cost a small fortune. @nateworrell went as far to say that all tickets will have to be 'prefunded.' 

Even with a ticket, the entry into the park will likely require patrons to have to pass through a series of entry requirements, each one mentally and emotionally demanding. Less than half of ticketed guests are expected to actually make it into the park.

Once in the park there are several marquee attractions. Of course lines and wait times are going to be unavoidable - @Catuary1 adds a new twist with a policy not to disclose estimated wait times to park goers. Instead "they will roughly tell you how long the wait is but it is very vague...".  This should certainly ramp up the levels of anxiety and apprehension!

And as you read the descriptions, it is important to remember that in Actuaryland "all the rides are simulations" (@nateworrell):

Tomorrow Land  

For you thrill seekers, head to 'Tomorrowland' (@meepbopeep) to find:

G-Force of Mortality (by @MLBactuary) - the ride accelerates constantly, getting the fastest at the very end.

The Catastrophe Experience (by @riskguyLAstyle) - "80% of the time you get on and nothing happens" otherwise it will blow you away!

The Disintermediator (by @RDaleHall)- As you change direction you get flipped to a totally new ride!

The Regulator (by @nateworrell) - known for hard stops

The Risk Capital

You can find Family Friendly rides in the safest area of the park "The Risk Capital" (by @maverickactuary):

Space Delimited Mountain (by @danskwire) - an interesting feature of this ride is that the gaps between the cars are as important as the cars themselves

The Assumptionator (by @Tess_invests) - the speed and height of the ride will be based on last year, adjusting for prevailing market conditions

The Monte Carlo Whirlygig (by @nateworrell and @CK_Milliman) - a unique experience for every rider

The T-Distribution Cups (by @willcarb1)  - a good ride to sample

Efficient Frontierland

There are the classics optimally positioned in the whimsical "Efficient Frontierland" (@danskwire)::

Volatility (by@catuary1) - Your traditional tower ride. It is known for the lack of warning before going through extreme ups and downs

The "EXCELerator" (by @maverickactuary and @ CK_Milliman)  - why use modern technology? This wooden coaster will likely be a popular feature.

Loch Skew Ness

Loch Skew Ness (by @maverickactuary) is where you can cool off with various water attractions:

Black Swan Boats (by @danskwire) - we have no idea what will happen on this ride

Logarithm Flume (by @Tess_invests) - what was a super steep slope is now a lot flatter

Actuarial Control Cyclone (by @loveactuary) - you end the ride right back where you started

Concepts in Development:

  • The Death Spiral (by @nateworrell) - the designers are having trouble getting this one to work
  • The Infinite Loop (by @nateworrell) - starting the ride is easy, getting it to end has been problematic



Of course in between rides you can stop in to the shops, restaurants, or catch a show:


  • The Fat Tail (by @meepbopeep) - at this pub the beer is served in "opaque mugs...potentially all foam, all ale, or anything in between....or overflowing!"
  • Or you can gather at "The Central Limit" (by @maverickactuary) which is particularly well suited for large numbers of guests.


  • Shoe! (by @MLBactuary) - since actuaries love staring at their own shoes, why not buy some worth looking at. The store is totally autonomous and require zero interaction with staff.


  • Be sure to check out "The Peer Revue" (by @geof_h) - there is twenty minutes of comedic content that takes two days to get through
  • The rock and roll music of  "30 Seconds to VaR" (by @maverickactuary) will certainly exceed your expectations!

Other Features:

  • Landscaping: The park is sure to include a variety of  different hedges, including several Asain , European and exotic options.  (@nateworrell)
  • Lockers/Storage: Head over to The Cache (by @maverickactuary) for storing your belongings, just be wary that it is occasionally purged.
  • Security: various "controllers" will be monitoring all park activities (by @maverickactuary)

Stop on by, we can't wait to see you at ACTUARYLAND!

This article was written before knowledge of this other piece called the 'Actuaryland' project.

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