Thursday, November 20, 2014

Awkward Moments Saturate Actuarial Conference

The sun rises. Hundreds of actuaries congregate outside the conference rooms at the resort-hotel, rummaging through stale pastries, fruit that hadn't fully ripened, and fresh brewed coffee.

They try networking. Their efforts are motivated more by obligation, proximity to other actuaries and social norms than strong desires to interact with other human beings.

Presenters deliver hundreds of PowerPoint slides on partially relevant topics. All speakers leave room for Q&A, but most secretly hope there would be none. 

The evenings are filled with actuaries trying to drink enough alcohol to make the days' presentations seem like a distant daydream. Which amounts to about a pint and a half's worth.

At the end of three days, full of charts and tarts, the actuaries depart for their homes and jobs, anxious to fill out the expense report awaiting their return and relive all their glorious moments.

As a final note, some actuaries sneak away to play golf during these events. It is worth noting that if an actuary gets close to the cup, they'll count the shot since being
approximately close is just as good as being exact. This is known as the mulligan margin.

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